Dear Jesse,
I'm sorry. But you're still an ignorant asshole. You fucking lied and you deserve to get suspended for more than two days this time. And I thought we had a good thing going. But you wouldn't listen to me, and you didn't care enough.
I miss who you were at the beginning of this semester. When I mattered. When I was your friend, instead of a piece of meat. Just another chick to flirt with, to lie to, to walk all over.
Sorry for freaking out.
Sorry for caring.
Sorry for wanting to be a good friend to you.
Sorry for wanting to apologize.
But truth is, I don't know why I am sorry.
Because I didn't do anything wrong.
You were a good friend when you were. Or was that just an act as well? I miss staying up late, texting you, and having deep discussions with you. Especially the last one we had.
I don't know if I ever got to thank you for those hugs you gave me when my grandpa died. And calling me that afternoon to make sure I was doing okay. I appreciated that a lot. Because I wasn't doing okay, I'm STILL not doing okay, on the 5 week anniversary of his death.
Now I don't even know what to do. Everything is falling apart. I want to call you, but I don't know if I should.
I want to go back to how life was three years ago.
Love,
Sarah
